“Subject: Do you like pie? If not, you are probably a terrorist
Hi Everybody!
As many of you know, Marianne is getting ready to start up a photography business. As is the case with most businesses, Marianne needs some capital to buy some more equipment. But, as it also the case with most businesses, such capital is in short supply. After some long strategy sessions and arduous planning, we have decided that the best way to make such capital is by doing what we do best… FATTENING THE MASSES!
Today, I have the privilege of informing you that so many of your wildest dreams will come true. Marianne’s famous, nigh INFAMOUS, banana cream, chocolate banana cream, coconut cream, and chocolate coconut cream pies are for sale! Marianne is asking for a minimum of $15.00 donation for a pie, but you are of course welcome to pay more if you feel inclined to do so. =o)
For those of you who have not experienced the culinary miracle that is Marianne’s pie, I feel 100% comfortable saying that you have missed out on a key element of life. Ask anyone who has tried Marianne’s pie and I assure you, they will testify to the glory of the first moment that Marianne’s pie ever touched their eager tongue… likely with tears of joy in their eyes. If you ask someone for testimony regarding Marianne’s pies, and the person’s eyes glaze over and they appear to be dead to the world, do not panic. This is a common physical reaction to reminiscing about Marianne’s pie. Let them enjoy the moment and don’t worry, they will once again become cogent human beings soon.
If by some chance you are on a diet, you most definitely should not be. However, if you are one of those types of people who are persistent in your choice to deprive yourself of the necessary elements for happiness, but you would like to help Marianne without buying pie (or, better yet, in addition to buying pie), Marianne would love it if you recommended her to your friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers passing on the street for her photography services. Although Marianne has not purchased all of her desired equipment yet, she has made contacts and arrangements to rent such equipment right now! So, she is presently booking various photo shoots and would love it if you could make her life a little more busy. As an added bonus, if someone sets up a shoot and mentions this email, they will get a free pie and so will the person who sent them the email! (mmmmm… I’m getting all sorts of free pie… sweet).
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